There is a significant school of thought within the scientific community which holds that stress is caused by a murder deficiency. Or, in lay terms, stress is caused by denial of the primal need to kill assholes. Ironically, many of these same scientists claim that stress itself is a serious contender for the number one spot in the U.S. causes of death top ten. So really, if someone has got to die, Darwinism dictates that you might as well break out the heavy artillery and get up on that water tower.
I was talking to my mom on the phone today and I was complaining about an
individual who was trying to fuck me over in a business deal. In order
to preserve this individual's anonymity (so they don't know to hire a
bodyguard), for the purpose of this article we will refer to this individual
as Motherfucker-Cunt-Bitch-Asshole-Who-I'm-Gonna-Feed-Nine-Inches-of-Plastic-Cock.
So anyway, Motherfucker-Cunt-Bitch-Asshole-Who-I'm-Gonna-Feed-Nine-Inches-of-Plastic-Cock
was trying to take advantage of my having previously liked and trusted
Motherfucker-Cunt-Bitch-Asshole-Who-I'm-Gonna-Feed-Nine-Inches-of-Plastic-Cock. But
I have no intention of rolling over on the issue, so in the long run, it is hideously
bad for Motherfucker-Cunt-Bitch-Asshole-Who-I'm-Gonna-Feed-Nine-Inches-of-Plastic-Cock
to do this.
I complained to my mother that I just don't get why people do rotten things which don't even profit them any. At least, you'd think they'd try to get something of value when they sell their souls. So my mom taught me the history of the apt and lovely expression "banality of evil." So I mentioned that I felt it would be fair and reasonable if I went to Motherfucker-Cunt-Bitch-Asshole-Who-I'm-Gonna-Feed-Nine-Inches-of-Plastic-Cock's home and put a bullet in Motherfucker-Cunt-Bitch-Asshole-Who-I'm-Gonna-Feed-Nine-Inches-of-Plastic-Cock's head. And you know what she said? She said that lots of people feel that way about lots of other people and that is why we have laws against doing specifically that.
Welcome to the Murder issue of BLT.
Coroner: Amelia G
Gore-Spattered Psycho: Forrest Black
Serial Killers: Jeremy Goldberg, Sarah McKinley Oakes, Your Kindly
Uncle William Judy, and Your Nasty-Ass Nephew Andrew GreenbErg
Entrails: Eric "Slash" Dunn, Barry McCarthy, Allen Salyer
Volume 5, #6, ISSN 1068-2031 BIPAD 83617, copyright 1996 CBLT,
BLT (Black Leather Times) is a registered trademark of CBLT.
