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Nude Years
by your nasty-ass nephew
And·rew Greenberg
Your lovely editrix Amelia said that since I have never broken a
New Year's resolution, I would be just the person to write something
for this issue of BLT. So here's my take on the net. I'm tired of
all these moronic the-net's-the-last-great-frontier, I-don't-understand-a-thing-I'm-talking-about,
how-many-words-do-I-have-to-puff-this-piece-to news articles about the information bypass. So
here are my favorite glimpses of the net for you, my Sarah-adoring public.
- On the net, this incredibly populous area of decision-making and info-passing,
the record for the most people involved in one activity at one time is three
thousand -- and they were there to ask Sandra Bullock questions. Most events
are lucky to draw one hundred folk.
- Whiny, bald middle-agers complaining on the net that they're afraid
to post anything for fear of getting flamed. Aah, have your wittle artistic
sensibilities been hurt?
- Getting to learn great new languages like Guano, which do about a
tenth of what real programming languages are capable of.
- Using RealAudio to hear music come in at such quality that if you
were hearing it on a radio, you would throw it right through Circuit City's windows.
- The annoying and growing popularity of those I'm so-cynically-cool,
no-one-else-really-understands-the-net commentary articles appearing in all
the underground zines.
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