1. Away at a convention for the weekend, you remember to eat:

	three times a day out of the stash you packed at home, snuck in in a cooler and cooked in a mini hot pot
	the trés cher food you ate in the hotel restaurant while supping with people you wouldn’t do an actual business deal with on a dare
	after you nearly pass out while trying to make a good impression on your favorite science fiction writer or the publicist for an adult video company
	whatever the person you fuck that weekend buys you

2. You would be most likely to be thrown out of the con hotel for:

	stealing toiletries off the maid’s cart
	drunkenly punching the restaurant manager in his eye for booting the hookers from the hotel bar
	wandering into closed parts of the hotel at 4am while looking for people who aren’t so wussy as to be in bed
	hooking in the hotel bar

3. You usually return home after a convention via:

	a lift from an acquaintance
	privately-held Lear jet
	jog-walking to work some of that energy off
	finding some rebellious college girl with crash space in the city you are in