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4.5 Punk Success
  - Cover
 - Editorial
 - Article 1
 - Article 2
 - Article 3
 - Article 4
 - Article 5
 - Article 6
 - Article 7
 - Article 8
- Volume 5: (6 issues)
- Volume 4: (6 issues)
     v4.6: Romance & Fucking
    v4.5: Punk Rock Success
    v4.4: B&D/D&D
    v4.3: Valentine's Day
    v4.2: Drunkenness
    v4.1: Fall Anniversary
 - Volume 3: (7 issues)

or, Are You a SuperLoser?
 by your Kindly Uncle William

1) What did you want to be when you grew up?
Rich as fuck and running things.
David Bowie.
Sid Vicious.
Rick Springfield.

2) What's your rent these days?
The agency pays me to live here and mind the supermodels.
More money than most of my friends would admit to seeing in a year, but at least I don't have six roommates eating the Heath Bar chunks out of my fucking Ben & Jerry's.
$150 a month and the landlord doesn't bitch if I use my .22 on the rats.
Mom understands me. She'd never charge me rent.

3) Do you regularly lie about your age?
Yeah. Everyone has some idea of my salary and most of them would kill themselves if they knew how young I was.
Don't have to. Everyone assumes I'm about 22 and I just keep it to myself that I'm 27 and still working this dick-ass job.
Fuck no. You saying I'm old?
Never. Sixteen-year-olds think it's the shit to be dating someone who's nearly thirty.

4) Where do you see yourself in five years?
In my boss's office with his dusty head mounted over the door.
The cubicle next door with a mortgage on top of my student loan.
The band's gonna get signed, man. Believe it.
Next on Geraldo: Failed Auto-Erotic Suicides.


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