Twenty years ago on September 30 (1973 for those of you with out math skills) I was born. I was five and a half months old on my first Valentine's Day. As time passed, the subsequent Valentine's Days were much like the first -- spent with my mom. Being lonely was an accustomed feeling for me.
And then when I did manage to acquire a girlfriend, Valentine's Day didn't carry a modicum of importance for her either; so back to my mom. It seems that my life has been spent trying to pick someone up and them not noticing or me not noticing myself. So, when my first girlfriend's mom tried to pick me up; I was, as usual, entirely oblivious.
Thusly oblivious, I can't be certain when she first tried to find the opening in my pants. But I recall her preliminary reconnaissance. This was a series of questions regarding my sexual activities, particularly with her daughter. The conversation usually was wound up by her asking if or implying that her daughter was a good fuck, and me saying "yes", and her always saying "I taught her well."
The exact implications of Mom's Giving Head 101: Mom demonstrates
and discusses, is crude, scary, and brings up certain issues of morality which are still unanswered. The humorous part is of course that my ex's weakness was giving head. When I mentioned that I could take or leave a blowjob during Masturbation 212: Shower massagers and watersports, her mom insisted that my now-exgirlfriend "wasn't doing it right. You just haven't found the "Slut du Jour yet," she would say. The actual offer to demonstrate her own abilities was (no pun intended) on the tip of her tongue. But I was oblivious and blew off the offer.
