When I was sixteen, my stepmother sat me down and told me that she'd been having dreams that I was sexually active. This was, of course, code for "I've been searching your room and reading your diary."
Anyway, she felt it was her duty
to teach me about birth control. After
watching her search the house for a condom, I finally gave her one of
mine. Which she tried to put on a banana (to show me how, you pervert)
only first it was inside-out and then it broke. She got the second one
on, but I kept having to remind her to squeeze the tip. It was only
then that I remembered that my dad had had a vasectomy long before
she met him, and that before that she only did chicks.
To this day, I feel blushing and awkward around bananas.
to teach me about birth control. After
watching her search the house for a condom, I finally gave her one of
mine. Which she tried to put on a banana (to show me how, you pervert)
only first it was inside-out and then it broke. She got the second one
on, but I kept having to remind her to squeeze the tip. It was only
then that I remembered that my dad had had a vasectomy long before
she met him, and that before that she only did chicks.
