Typically, I stole liquor from the people I baby-sat for -- mainly from this one divorced guy who was such an alcoholic that he had about twenty different bottles of hard liquor in a cabinet, but also came home reeling drunk from singles bars three or four nights a week. Anyway, after the brats were asleep, I would fill a pint bottle from his stash, and replace it with some water. The challenge was in remembering which brand I had watered down last time.

My liquor source was pretty good-looking and fairly young, but I guess he struck out most of the time anyway because, over the course of my employment, he became increasingly friendly upon arriving home nights. One night he gave me three glasses of champagne and groped me and after that I didn't work for him any more.