Running is viewed by most as a narcissistic, yuppie passtime. You probably have had to stifle the urge to run one off the road by aiming at their neon-colored spandex and cheerful, blissed-out look. You are entirely justified in feeling this way, as most “joggers” are simply dense office types trying to get their flabby gross bodies into a pair of Dockers so they can go to Hooters and get drunk and drool over bimbos with large hair, Jersey style.
There is another side to running that most don’t think about though. The human body is a natural pharmacopeia, producing just about any type of drug that you could buy from a bike courier in DC, and has the advantage of being a lot cheaper.
However, by living the sedentary lifestyle that modern life imposes, our bodies hold back on us. In order to trigger the “fight or flight” reaction our bodies need for release of these drugs, you have to subject yourself to the appropriate stress. Aside from hanging out in DC late at night in SE alleys (which would provoke large amounts of adrenaline, similar to what you feel when you take speed), running can trick the body into producing endorphins, which are a natural painkiller similar to Dilaudid, although much more sublime. And it has the added benefit that it doesn’t cost $50 per hit.
The cost is minimal, a pair of old running shoes, shorts, and an old T will do. Try to run at least four days a week for a minimum duration of twenty minutes. This is the minimum investment needed to make your body produce endorphins, and will increase your heart and lung capacities as well.
If you don’t want to be seen with the hoards of yuppie scum on the sidewalks of your development, try trail running. You will be exposed to less car emission, and won’t have to deal with lots of people. There are lots of public parks in any area with miles of trails. Plus, you have the added benefit of being able to body check a tree hugger into a patch of poison oak. Hit the road!
A Way to Get Those Natural Drugs Flowing