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3.5 Health
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- Volume 5: (6 issues)
- Volume 4: (6 issues)
- Volume 3: (7 issues)
    v3.7: Hot for Teacher
    v3.6: SF & Fantasy
    v3.5: Health
    v3.4: Summer Fun
    v3.3: Careers
    v3.2: New Year's/Suicide
    v3.1: Fall Anniversary

by Amelia G

When you get up in the morning, the first thing you do is:
	Drink 8 oz. of homemade unfiltered apple-cucumber juice blend, brush your teeth, and go for a jog.
	Take a grapefruit extract pill, slice two pieces off that cucumber in the refridgerator and go lie down outside to fall asleep under the sun with the cuke pieces over your eyes.
	Crawl to the refridgerator, slice two pieces off that cucumber, and lie down on the kitchen floor in your lingerie with the cuke pieces over your eyes.
	Crawl to the refridgerator, think about masturbating with that cucumber but end up just choking down a whole lot of pre-mixed smart drink before going to work.
The second thing you do after you get up is:

	Eat a square meal of approximately 400 calories which includes representatives from each of the four food groups.
	Shower, deep-condition your hair, gargle with mouthwash, and vigorously gossip on the phone about girls who are uglier than you are.
	A line of coke.
	Think about gruesome ways to mangle your company's customers but end up just sucking down a six-pack of something caffeinated.
Your evening regimen includes:

	Eating a third square meal of approximately 400 calories which includes representatives from each of the four food groups, drinking a cup of camomile tea before going to bed in time to get 8.5 hours.
	Color-coordinating your clothes with your date's car, taking a grapefruit extract pill, and eating a very expensive three course meal which you will later force yourself to puke up in the women's room.
	Hanging out by the backstage door sharing coke and flashing your silicone at security guards until one of them introduces you to that dreamy incredible man (the bass player - no, wait, the guitarist, oh, you know - the cute one) who you will energetically and athletically bone until dawn.
	Going to a club which plays cool music loud enough so you do not have to endure your date's conversation while you think about how totally unlikely it is that this guy will ever really start a band, or a 'zine, or learn to DJ, or finish school, or get a car, or call you when he says he will ... but end up strapping him to the backseat of your car and getting off with him anyway.