1. When the sun is out you: Rub baby oil all over your body and lie down outside with a mirror under your chin for an even tan. b) Sleep. c) Rub baby oil all over your basement and invite six real close friends over. 2. When invited to a pool party, you wear: a) A micro-thong bathing suit recently imported from Rio. b) The typical attire of the sky-clad. c) A latex catsuit, a gas mask, and a poodle. 3. When asked what you are doing for summer vacation, you: a) Explain that Europe is very passe so you are contemplating sampling authentic sushi in its natural habitat. b) Describe this new designer drug your roommate's brother's best friend's second cousin's girlfriend has a definite line on. c) Scream, "YOU MOTHERFUCKING, SLUG-SUCKING, BRITCHES-WEARING, IMPOTENT, FRIGID INBRED EXCUSE FOR A BARELY-ABOVE-MINIMUM-WAGE TOADIE! BEING DRESSED LIKE THIS DOES NOT MEAN I AM A DAMN HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT. LIKE I REALLY HAVE A SUMMER VACATION! And I'll thank you to hand me back my poodle."
2. When invited to a pool party, you wear: a) A micro-thong bathing suit recently imported from Rio. b) The typical attire of the sky-clad. c) A latex catsuit, a gas mask, and a poodle. 3. When asked what you are doing for summer vacation, you: a) Explain that Europe is very passe so you are contemplating sampling authentic sushi in its natural habitat. b) Describe this new designer drug your roommate's brother's best friend's second cousin's girlfriend has a definite line on. c) Scream, "YOU MOTHERFUCKING, SLUG-SUCKING, BRITCHES-WEARING, IMPOTENT, FRIGID INBRED EXCUSE FOR A BARELY-ABOVE-MINIMUM-WAGE TOADIE! BEING DRESSED LIKE THIS DOES NOT MEAN I AM A DAMN HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT. LIKE I REALLY HAVE A SUMMER VACATION! And I'll thank you to hand me back my poodle."
3. When asked what you are doing for summer vacation, you: a) Explain that Europe is very passe so you are contemplating sampling authentic sushi in its natural habitat. b) Describe this new designer drug your roommate's brother's best friend's second cousin's girlfriend has a definite line on. c) Scream, "YOU MOTHERFUCKING, SLUG-SUCKING, BRITCHES-WEARING, IMPOTENT, FRIGID INBRED EXCUSE FOR A BARELY-ABOVE-MINIMUM-WAGE TOADIE! BEING DRESSED LIKE THIS DOES NOT MEAN I AM A DAMN HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT. LIKE I REALLY HAVE A SUMMER VACATION! And I'll thank you to hand me back my poodle."
