|
|
 | | |
|
Annual Dozen Fun Projects for Summer
by Amelia G
- Dye your hair.
- Fuck someone you really shouldn't.
- The grocery stores are perfectly stocked now to give you the opportunity to try smoking nutmeg and morning glory seeds.
- Sleaze your way onto the guest list for the big corporate as-alternative-as-we-can-make-you-spend-30-bucks-for-blowout.
- Go to a science fiction convention so far away there is no chance your, uh, friends will be there.
- Shoplift the new gothic sun block SPF 50.
- Hide in your room writing poetry about how beautiful the trees look when all the leaves are dead.
- Razor blade Celtic runes into your flesh and lie out in the sun until the designs burn into permanent decorative scarifiction.
- Sign up for a summer class so you will get to feel guilty and naughty instead of just bored when lying around doing nothing.
- Kill your . (Auntie, you just knew that was going to be in here somewhere when you found BLT under your college boy's mattress, even though you only looked there because you lost the spatula, not because you were snooping.)
- Coerce a bunch of your friends into writing obnoxious articles. and scrawling rude pictures. Tape them to 8 1/2 x 11 pieces of paper and photocopy them at your newest sex partner's place of employment.
- Get a job . . . ho, ho, ho, really had you going for a second there, didn't I? Seriously, give head to someone who has a job so they will touch up your dye job for free.
|
| | | | |
|
|
