So something finally pushed you over the edge this time. Maybe it's because your unemployably stupid, ugly beyond the furthest reaches of reconstructive surgery, or emotionally destroyed by the breakup of your last relationship/favorite band. You've finally had to admit to yourself that you're really never going to get thin, laid, or a real job; and you've realized just how slim your chances of winning the lottery really are.
Whatever.
The point is that you're sitting there, sucking cold steel and cordite, about to make your death as lonely, miserable, pathetic, and pointless as your life.
You could at least have a little fun first.
Think about it! Every reason you've ever been given for not doing something fun boils down to, "You'll get hurt," or maybe, "You'll get hurt real bad." Which doesn't hold much sway when you're actually planning on being dead. At this point, you're not going to live long enough to gain weight, harden your arteries, catch a disease, or pay your speeding tickets. In fact, you don't have to worry about being punished for any of your crimes. The only thing the police can do is hunt you down and shoot you, and, shit, YOU were gonna do that anyway. So why not go for it?
I mean, hey, Rodney King got loaded and took the LAPD on a 110-mile-an-hour Urban Redneck Steeplechase, and he just got the shit mercilessly beaten out of him by a bunch of racist authority fanatics. Imagine how much fun you could have if you're wired into a state of Premeditated Reptilian Menace on crystal meth, armed to the teeth, and hell-bent on not wasting any ammo on yourself.
And in case anyone might wonder why the movie of your life is being cut short, put the folks responsible in the credits. Remember your geriatric Nazi third grade teacher? Your petty bureaucrat boss? The bloated, sweat-dripping land-slug who spent ALL last Friday night at the club 
trying to convince you that you've been waiting all your life for HIS dick? "Yeah, give me detention. Dock my pay. Stick your dinky in this big boy!"
Needless to say, neither the author nor the BLT corporate entity endorse this sort of activity (at least not enough to risk legal culpability). But if you do decide to do something like this, tip us off so we can get the novel/film/TV mini-series/Saturday-morning cartoon rights.
